Post by Hooligan on May 7, 2012 10:15:48 GMT -6
From the Office of the Governor
of the Province of Florencia
Fellow Florencians and all Florencian-Wannabes,
WHEREAS it has lately come to the attention of the provincial government that a significant number of square citizens (or is that a square number of significant citizens?) of the Lesser Provinces of Maricopa and Maritiimi-Maxhestic have declared their intention to form yet another of the Lesser Provinces, and
WHEREAS the name chosen for this new Lesser Province would seem to be "Fiova", which bears obvious similarity to the name of this, ours, the Greatest Province, and indeed were the letter v exchanged for the letters lern and then the whole thing jumbled around a bit, it would in fact actually be the name of our most wondrous province, and
WHEREAS certain of these aforementioned citizens seem insistent on using two circumflexes when spelling the name of this new Lesser province, rendering it as "Fiôvâ", and this government acknowledges those circumflexes for what they are — an obvious indication of respect for the Greatest Province, located two provinces north of the aforenamed "Fiôvâ" on the map, and
WHEREAS, in point of fact, the tittle being used atop the letter i in the name of this new province seems to also have been carefully chosen to precisely and exactly match that which appears (when an identical font is used) in the name of our own great province, a mark of respect for Florencia that all but one of the other Lesser metropolitan provinces have also adopted (Atatürk twice, even, making up for that province's unfortunate lack of a matching letter i and also for its neighbour Vuode's recalcitrance), and
WHEREAS the letter v in the name of the new province, standing in such stark contrast to the inclusion of a Florencian tittle, is an obviously pointed remark aimed at Vuode, chastising that province for its lack of respect for Florencia, and reïnforcing that the province to which its circumflexes refer is most definitely not Vuode, despite any wild Vuodean claim that "hey, we are also kinda two provinces north of Fiova!", and
WHEREAS, since it is currently incumbent upon the aforementioned citizens to create a constitution for this Fiova place, to elect a provincial government under it, and to see that constitution promulgated by His Majesty the King, all before the election begins on 15 June of this year, we imagine they must be rather busy and could use any help that we in our Provincial Greatness might deign to extend to them, and
WHEREAS, while the constitutions of the Lesser Provinces are of little consequence to us, still, in our beneficence, and given all of the above (and due) deference to our great province that these budding Fiovans have so willingly shown, now
THEREFORE I, Ma la Mha, Baron of Hooligan and Governor of the Greatest Province in Talossa, hands-down, representing all Florencians everywhere and expressing their common will, do hereby:
- WELCOME AND EMBRACE the new citizens of our nation who are engaged in this intrepid enterprise that will bring another fellow province into being, wishing them the greatest success that a Lesser Province can possibly have (albeit less success than Florencia could ever possibly find itself experiencing), and
- OFFER to those same citizens the text of The Constitution of Florencia to use as their guide in the business they probably are already started on, but that surely could be done no better than we Florencians did.
 | DONE this day under my hand as from the Landmark Building, the Glorious Capitol of Florencia Province, Right Next Door to the Liquor Store This 7th Day of May, 2012. Hooligan Governor God Save the King! God Save Talossa! God Save Florencia! God Save the Nimlet! |
