Post by Hooligan on Aug 15, 2007 18:26:42 GMT -6
[The Seneschál takes the podium, but only after draping himself in plastic.]
S:reu Túischac'h, fellow legislators, my fellow Talossans, and Lindsey Lohan, if she can pay attention and see straight,
It is that time once again -- okay, it is long past that time -- when I have the privilege of coming before you to say what your government thinks of the resolutions on the monthly Clark. You will notice that by my skillful ignorance of duty, I have given you well over two-thirds of the Clark to revel in my silence, but now that more than a fortnight has elapsed, and but few days remain for all of us to ensure that our votes on the August Clark are recorded, I figure I had better break that silence and suffer the slings and arrows (or, more appropriately, tomatoes and banana peels) that will be flung my way.
[Sure enough, as if on cue, the Seneschál is pelted with any number of fructose-based projectiles. With the exception of the two that smack him square in the face, they projectiles do their damage only to the plastic shield that the Prime Minister so thoughtfully provided to his immaculate Brooks Brothers' t-shirt and shorts.]
My friends, sensing that you have assumed the mood that you usually assume whenever you see that I have risen to speak, I will be brief.
[Applause.]
There are two bills on the floor this month. The first of these, 37RZ13, is a cool one called The Military Honours Act. The government recommends a PËR vote, because it has high hopes that this will be more than a paper (or electronic) tiger, and that we really will see some way-cool ribbons and medals and other sundry regalia created and attached to the uniforms of our trumped-up military.
The second act, 37RZ14, is another bill on which the government recommends a PËR vote. This bill will take from our books three laws that the government feels are either unenforceable or obsolete. The bill has been vetted by your cabinet ministers, and everyone agrees we're not going to miss any of these laws.
And of course you Cosâ members get the happy task of critiquing the performance of your government through these, the obvious dog days of summer. As your Prime Minister, I can report that we're doing our darnedest to keep things moving and, as usual, once we shut the book on this Clark, I'll take this podium again, unshielded because you won't be here, and I'll give you a more full account of the doings of the various Ministries during August.
With that, I had better get back to my various Cosâ seats and submit my own votes on those three questions. Please stop throwing things at me now, and I would ask the bartender to mix me something to calm my tomato-battered nerves.
I thank the chamber and I yield the floor.
[And off he goes.]
S:reu Túischac'h, fellow legislators, my fellow Talossans, and Lindsey Lohan, if she can pay attention and see straight,
It is that time once again -- okay, it is long past that time -- when I have the privilege of coming before you to say what your government thinks of the resolutions on the monthly Clark. You will notice that by my skillful ignorance of duty, I have given you well over two-thirds of the Clark to revel in my silence, but now that more than a fortnight has elapsed, and but few days remain for all of us to ensure that our votes on the August Clark are recorded, I figure I had better break that silence and suffer the slings and arrows (or, more appropriately, tomatoes and banana peels) that will be flung my way.
[Sure enough, as if on cue, the Seneschál is pelted with any number of fructose-based projectiles. With the exception of the two that smack him square in the face, they projectiles do their damage only to the plastic shield that the Prime Minister so thoughtfully provided to his immaculate Brooks Brothers' t-shirt and shorts.]
My friends, sensing that you have assumed the mood that you usually assume whenever you see that I have risen to speak, I will be brief.
[Applause.]
There are two bills on the floor this month. The first of these, 37RZ13, is a cool one called The Military Honours Act. The government recommends a PËR vote, because it has high hopes that this will be more than a paper (or electronic) tiger, and that we really will see some way-cool ribbons and medals and other sundry regalia created and attached to the uniforms of our trumped-up military.
The second act, 37RZ14, is another bill on which the government recommends a PËR vote. This bill will take from our books three laws that the government feels are either unenforceable or obsolete. The bill has been vetted by your cabinet ministers, and everyone agrees we're not going to miss any of these laws.
And of course you Cosâ members get the happy task of critiquing the performance of your government through these, the obvious dog days of summer. As your Prime Minister, I can report that we're doing our darnedest to keep things moving and, as usual, once we shut the book on this Clark, I'll take this podium again, unshielded because you won't be here, and I'll give you a more full account of the doings of the various Ministries during August.
With that, I had better get back to my various Cosâ seats and submit my own votes on those three questions. Please stop throwing things at me now, and I would ask the bartender to mix me something to calm my tomato-battered nerves.
I thank the chamber and I yield the floor.
[And off he goes.]
