2015 RUMP Convention - Podium

[Tráveç Dun]

Ben morgun and welcome to the 2015 RUMP convention! Seven days where the party will define itself, redefine itself, and have a dang good time. I'll hope you'll join us.

To get the basics out of the way, this thread will be for speeches and announcements. The Floor thread will be for party member voting, and the Gallery thread is for general chit chat and revelry.

This year marks the tenth anniversary of the RUMP's founding, a history of which I have witnessed about one percent. But that's one of the great things about Talossa - there's always new folks coming in, new ideas, new dreams and new dreamers. At the same time, Talossa draws it's strength from its long history and proud culture. In the RUMP, we work to acknowledge the old and elevate the new, to strike the balance that keeps Talossa healthy and ever-growing while still firmly rooted.

The RUMP isn't opposed to change. We have a long record of reforms, which I'll leave to be better enumerated by those who had the pride of enacting them. We want to keep what works, and fix what doesn't. We want a friendly, active Talossa for all. We want to find common ground with our fellow citizens, whether on political issues or cultural - the RUMP is proud to boast an active contingent of Ladintschen and cultural contributors, including the man who literally wrote the book on ár glheþ, the translator of Tolkien and Lovecraft, and the editor of the only newspaper currently on the stands. The RUMP stands for fun, and for getting things done.

As I said, I hope you'll join us this week. It's an exciting time for the RUMP, and you'll see us set out our goals and principles for all to consider. And with that, it's time to get moving. ¡Qe noi venadrent, Talossa!

[Iustì Carlüs Canun]

L'uorden prüm dels afaes: Aicì presentéu el text del Fundamaintsch del RUMP, per l'approval da noschtri membreux.
First order of business: Here I present the text of the Fundament of the RUMP, for the approval of our members.

THE FUNDAMENT OF THE RUMP	EL FUNDAMAINTSCH DEL RUMP
1. The RUMP is a political party active in the Kingdom of Talossa, in support of Monarchism, Fun, Practicality, Fiscal Responsibility, Derivatism, and Traditionalism.	1. El RUMP isch 'n parti political qi'st actíu in el Regipäts Talossan, per bacarh la Monarc'hismeu, la Divertà, la Praticalità, la Respunçivalità Fiscal, el Derivismeu, es el Tradiziunalismeu.
2. The logo of the RUMP shall be any depiction of a tortoise rendered in a suitably spectacular way by a member of the party.	2. El logo del RUMP serà ingen zespictaziun d'iens narec'hnar qi'st rendada in 'n vej cugruè spetacülesc par 'n membreu del parti.
3. The platform of the RUMP and the official backronym of the party shall be composed prior to each election by the GHP in consultation with the MEC, with input from the other members of the Party.	3. El platform del RUMP es l'acronüm uficial del parti serent conposuats avant cadascu eleziun par el PIG in cußeglhença cün el GEM, avetz comtribuziuns dels ödreux membreux del parti.
4. Nothing in this Fundament shall be construed to limit the rights of any Party Members, given that exercise of such rights does not otherwise violate the Fundament or the Party Platform.	4. Niþil din acest Fundamaintsch serà interpretat à limitarh els drepts dad ingen Membreu del Parti, províut qe l'exerciçeu d'acestilor drepts non altramint violadra el Fundamaintsch eda el Platform del Parti.
MEMBERSHIP	MEMBRITÀ
5. A Party Member is anyone who: publically votes for the RUMP in the most recent General Election, and/or registers with the Executive Coven as such.	5. 'N Membreu del Parti isch ingenviens qi: püblicmint vota per el RUMP in l'Eleziun Xheneral la phü recént, es/eda rexhistra cün el GEM com'iens Membreu.
6. Members may be expelled from the party by a two-thirds vote.	6. 'N membreu povent estarh expulsescu par 'n vota da doua-tierçéux.
PARTY LEADERSHIP & MYSTERIOUS EXECUTIVE COVEN	DUCITÀ DEL PARTI ES GREXHIGLH EXECUTÍU MÜSTERIÖS
7. The Party is headed by the Grand High Poohbah (GHP), elected in each year by majority vote. Elections to this position begin on 2 January and end on 2 February (RUMP Day).	7. El Parti isch duciat par el Pouba Inalt es Grült (PIG), electescu in cadascu anneu par 'n vota dal maxhorità. Las eleziuns à'ceasta posiziun començent li 2. Januar es ultiment li 2. Schevraglh (la Ziua del RUMP).
8. Upon election, the GHP shall appoint a Not-so-High Poohbah (Deputy Party Leader) and an Amanuensis (Party Secretary).	8. Osprei l'eleziun, el PIG apüntarha 'n Pouba Pü Bäts (el Duceu Deputescu) es 'n Amanuensis (el Secretar del Parti).
9. The Mysterious Executive Coven of the RUMP, consisting of the Capo di Tutti Capi, Consigliere, and Rival Underboss, shall also be appointed each year by the GHP.	9. El Gremxiglh Executíu Müsteriös del RUMP, qomsistind el Capo di Tutti Capi, el Consigliere, es el Subboß Rival, ocsà serà apüntat in cadascu anneu par el PIG.
10. The Party Leadership and MEC may also appoint such lower officers, spokespersons, committees, and commissions as it deems necessary.	10. La Ducità del Parti es el GEM ocsà povent apüntarh dels uficieirs, dels duceux dels mocts, dals comitaes, es dals cumiziuns, come neceßar.
11. Any member of Party Leadership, the MEC, and any other appointees may be removed by a two-thirds vote of the Party.	11. Ingen membreu dal Ducità del Parti, del MEC, es ingen ödreux apüntescu, put estarh removat par 'n vota da doua-tierçéux.
12. The RUMP convention is to be held once per election cycle.	12. El Congreßeu del RUMP serent conduçat viens fäts per ciücla d'eleziuns.
AMENDMENTS TO THE FUNDAMENT	AMENDAMAINTSCHEN ÀL FUNDAMAINTSCH
13. This Fundament may be amended by simple majority vote.	13. Acest Fundamaintsch povent estarh amendat par 'n vota dal maxhorità.
MISCELLANY	USCHICISNA
14. RUMP Day and its associated parade are to be held on 2 February in each year.	14. La Ziua del RUMP es sieu parazua aßoçiatada paßarhent li 2. Schevraglh da cadascu anneu.
SECRET CODICIL	CUDICIL SECRET
RUMP eyes only. May be seen on RUMP board.	Solamint per els uglhen del RUMP. Si put vidarh-en sür el RUMP sè scumpart.

[Tráveç Dun]

With the vote on the Fundament concluded, I now open the podium to any party member to nominate themselves or any other party member for the position of Pouba Inalt es Grült. Voting is now open and will be closed Friday at noon TST. Candidates may join after voting is open, and votes may be altered any time before close of voting.

[Iustì Carlüs Canun]

Estimeschti membreux fuliensen, it is my considered opinion that best person for the job remains our current party leader.

So I wish to nominate, uh... *snaps fingers* that one dude, you know, um... yeah, him. You know who I mean.

Oh, yeah, now I remember! I nominate Sir Alexandreu Davinescu for Pouba Inalt es Grült.

[Tráveç Dun]

Although not required, I second the nomination of Sir Alexandreu, whose commitment, responsiveness, and unflagging positivity is of great benefit to the party.

[Sir Alexandreu Davinescu]

I accept the nomination, with much gratitude for the kind words spoken by our convention chair and the author of the Fundament.

[Sir Alexandreu Davinescu]

Today, I was returned to lead the RUMP once more. I am humble. I am proud. And I am ready.

I am humble, for this is the tenth anniversary of the RUMP’s founding, and much yet hangs in the balance.

I am proud, for we RUMPers continue to fight for that survival every month, and it is a good fight to make.

And I am ready, for the RUMP has roared back into life like never before, meeting new challenges with beer in our mugs and a song in our spirits.

Two years ago, we were not in this place. We were headed to defeat at the polls, and we were dismayed in our hearts. Through negligence, sloth, and failures of leadership - including my own - we were in such straits that we even questioned whether or not we should continue as a party. On our mailing list, we openly and freely discussed our options. Should we campaign? Should we disband? Should we form a coalition?

But resolve is not forged at room temperature.

That was the day that I knew I was ready for this moment. That day, I stepped up and made a speech. I will repeat here what I said there, at one of our darkest moments.

No matter what we decide to do as a party, it would be unwise to do so in haste. So before anyone makes up their mind, let's just ease back for a second again.

I, for one, continue to be dedicated to a strong monarchy and a genuinely derivativist future for Talossa. Indeed, I think that is the only future for Talossa - otherwise Talossa might not have a future. Even if a majority of Talossa starts to disagree with me, I will continue to hold my views and work hard to persuade people to them - I will not go along to get along. This is because I think those ideals are important, and if we want to see Talossa continue, we need to make the right choices.

The first choice: an independent and real monarchy, not a show-horse or president. Talossa is small and endures frequent periods of lethargy, as people have more or less time to donate. There's a cohort effect: bursts of immigration mean that the active people all tend to burn out around the same time. The way to sustain the country during these periods is with an institution that has independent power - granted democratically by the people, to be sure, and beholden to them, but power that will stand on its own without their constant endorsement. Talossa needs a backbone to sustain it. Experience has shown us that. The ruins of failed micronations has shown us that.

The second choice: derivativism that is not the silly imitation of big countries, nor some sort of bizarre "other thing" just for the sake of being weird. Derivativists decide based on what is best for Talossa the real country, as she is and as she will be. The opposition is filled with cargo-cult derivativists who delight in the shallow pleasure of mimicking big nations - we have been, and must be, the fun-loving party that nonetheless makes the tough decisions based on what is best for Talossa, not Talossa-as-France-or-America.

Because of these choices, I have long supported the RUMP. I will continue to support the RUMP. I have had and hope to continue to have the honor of holding RUMP seats. Because of these choices.

I still believe every word of that. We stand for principles, and we fight for them. There are times when no other party has the courage to ask the hard questions: what will this cost us? where will this lead us? how will this work?

The RUMP asks those questions. Even when our opposition is powerful - and make no mistake, they are powerful - and even when they are malicious - and make no mistake, we will endure abuse - the RUMP asks those questions. And that is why we are important: not because of who we are, but because of what we protect.

I will present here today a platform for the approval of this party. It lays out our principles and our vision of the future. There are important changes that need to be made. There are poor decisions we need to stop. We are growing once more, and we are energetic in a way none of the other parties can be.

The election is coming, and we will seek the votes of the people of Talossa. We will win them over, by appealing to their minds and to their hearts. We will win or we will lose, but regardless of the outcome, we will stand firm. Talossa needs the RUMP, and the world needs Talossa.

As I said in the rest of that speech, two years ago:

If the RUMP disbands - a choice I would mourn but understand - then the next day I will start a party that is, as much as I can make it, just like the RUMP.

Royalist, even if that seems silly, because we're fun. Derivativist, even if that seems pompous, because we're serious.

Royalist, even if that seems antiquated, because we're serious. Derivativist, even if that seems goofy, because we're fun.

RUMP now. RUMP forever. Not just because it's the party I've loved, but because of the ideals I seek.

Thank you, RUMPers. And once more, it is time to fight for king and country. Not just because of the party that you love, but because of the ideals we seek.

[Sir Alexandreu Davinescu]

S:reu convention chair, I propose the following platform of the RUMP, developed by party officials for the upcoming election, and ask for the RUMP's approval.

Our Priorities ID Cards - We should resume issuing ID cards to interested citizens, charging a nominal amount to cover the cost of postage and production. TalossaWare - We should open and restock TalossaWare, and take steps to promote Talossa-themed goods on social media and Wittenberg. Use Our Assets - We should begin promoting the sale of stamps to Talossa and to the wider philatelist community, and set aside the proceeds in a separate fund for a second issue someday. There's thousands of stamps that could be raising money and spreading the word about the country. Donations - We should publicly solicit patriotic donations once per year for the span of a week (or on a similar non-annoying schedule), now that that approach is an official part of our budget. Laws should not be passed and ignored... if it's too hard, then don't promise to do it! Lower Fees - All of these methods of financing the country should enable us to lower the cost of party registration fees, which will make it easier for more Talossans to organize themselves and express their democratic will. Accountability - A public Civil Service Committee, with parties held accountable when their members delay the process with absences.

Our Team Ma la Mha, Count of Thord and Baron Hooligan [Florencia] Sir Cresti Siervicül, UrN [Maricopa] Sir Iustì Carlüs Canun, UrGP [Maricopa] Dame Erschéveþ (Litz) Cjantscheir LL.B, ChRTB, UrN [Cézembre] Sir Mick Preston, UrN [Maritiimi-Maxhestic] Sir Trotxâ Betiñéir, UrN [Vuode] Sir Alexandreu Davinescu, UrN [Maritiimi-Maxhestic] Danihel Txechescu [Maricopa] Éovart Xhorxh [Maricopa] Ian da Bitour [Cézembre] Senator Brad Holmes [Atatürk] Pol d'Aurìbuerg [Florencia] Audrada d'Auribuerg [Florencia] Cesli da Chisleu [Maritiimi-Maxhestic] Tráveç Dun [Maricopa] Senator Éovart Grischun [Vuode]

Our Successes TalossaWiki - This useful modern public archive of our history, culture, and laws was conceived and constructed by the RUMP. It's become an indispensable asset in only a few years. El Lexhatx - The former system of scattered and half-remembered laws was impenetrable to everyone but experts. Some statutes contradicted each other and some were lost to history. It was difficult and unfair. It has been replaced by a single legal code, thanks to the RUMP. Stamps - Stamp legislation was passed and the stamps were Kickstarted and issued successfully under RUMP administrations. Reunision that preserved the Organic Law and monarchy - For years, the Republic of Talossa said that the only way they'd accept any sort of reunion would be if the Organic Law and the monarchy were offered up as chips for the bargaining table. Reunision happened thanks to the joint efforts of people from many parties, but the RUMP avoided the easy quick solution, and held the line until we were all ready. Census - The 2009/XXIX census remains the only broad snapshot of Talossans as a people, offering current and future Talossans a view of what kind of person is a citizen at this point in time. It was a difficult affair to make happen while also safeguarding everyone's privacy, but a RUMP government did it. Shiny Objects - The official Seal of the Chancery and the official Chain of the Seneschal exist thanks to the ideas and budgeting of the RUMP, to be treasured and passed on through office-holders.

Our Legislation Terpelaziuns - One of the most important ways for opposition and small parties to challenge the ruling hegemony, in the grand tradition of parliaments everywhere. MIBII financial accountability acts - Keeping the country accountable for where our money is kept and how it is spent. Secret ballot option bill - The introduction of the secret ballot for voters. Royal Talossan Bar acts - Created the modern legal system. Civil Service bill - A compromise that allowed the expansion of a future bureaucracy, without mandating a host of new empty offices that would still be sitting idle today. Wittenberg transition bill - Separating the public and private aspects of Wittenberg, without abandoning its historic role. Numismatic Naming acts - Laying the groundwork and vision for coins and establishing our monetary system. Election Guidance bill - A compromise that will ensure smoother and better elections. Corporations - Revised and effective laws for incorporation, to allow enforceable contracts and business charters. The defeat of the Republican Sentiment bill - Voters have time and time again overwhelmingly endorsed the monarchy. The defeat of Almost Real Amendment - Would have sacrificed small parties and new ideas for little benefit. The defeat of Electoral Reform Amendment - Avoided, through a hard fight, an entrenchment of old parties and reduction of representation. Cabinet Refinishing acts - Laid the structure for the modern government. Home Improvement acts - Laid the structure for the modern Royal Household. Repeal of the House Law of Robert I - Clipping away the old trimmings of autocracy.

NOSCHTRI PRECEDENÇAS Lexhitimaziuns - Noi fossent reaßumarh l'emestaziun dals lexhitimaziuns àls citaxhiens intzereçeschti, es scharxharh 'n amint nominal per cörarh la costa del postmarqeu es dal produziun. TalossaUeir - Noi fossent apnarh es reproviziunarh el TalossaUeir, es façarh 'n esperforç à promotarh dal marc'handiçù Talosseasca sür els mediüns sociais es sür Wittenberg. Uçetz Noschtri Açeteux - Noi fossent començarh la promoziun dal veindaziun dels timbreux à Talossa es àl comunità pü grült dal filatelica, es apartarh els profätsilor in 'n fond separat pr'iensa emestaziun secund eventual. J'ont þúsunds dels timbreux qi povadrent gritantarh es zisternarh dal sentzintità del päts Zonaziuns - Noi fossent püblicmint racoltarh dals zonaziuns pätriotici viens temp per anneu, pr'iensa seifetziua (eda 'n þoraríu unvexatíu com'acest), parç qe nun aceasta meþoda c'e'n pärts uficial da noastra presupuest. Els legeux non fossent estarh paßats es ignhorats... ¡Schi c'e tro unfáþil, non promisetz à façarh-en! Fias Bätsiçadas - Toct d'acestilor meþodas àð erxhençarh el päts fossent endünamarh-noi à bätsiçarh la costa dals fias per la rexhistraziun dels partis, qe cauçarh-en àð estarh pü fáþil per Erteirs qi volent organiçarh-se es exprimarh lor pedit democrätic. Respunçivalità - 'N Funziun püblic, cün partis qi sint faceschti respuçivais quand qe lors membreux zemorent la proceßa avetz ausinçuns.

NOASTRA ESQIPA Ma la Mha, Conta Þord es Baron Tepistà [Florencia] S:reu Cresti Siervicül, UrN [Maricopa] S:reu Iustì Carlüs Canun, UrGP [Maricopa] Dama Erschéveþ (Litz) Cjantscheir LL.B, ChRTB, UrN [Cézembre] S:reu Mick Preston, UrN [Maritiimi-Maxhestic] S:reu Trotxâ Betiñéir, UrN [Vuode] S:reu Alexandreu Davinescu, UrN [Maritiimi-Maxhestic] Danihel Txechescu [Maricopa] Éovart Xhorxh [Maricopa] Ian da Bitour [Cézembre] Senator Brad Holmes [Atatürk] Pol d'Aurìbuerg [Florencia] Audrada d'Auribuerg [Florencia] Cesli da Chilseu [Maritiimi-Maxhestic] Tráveç Dun [Maricopa] Senator Éovart Grischun [Vuode]

NOSCHTRI SUCÇEßEN TalossaWiki - Acest müstair utzil, moderneu, es püblic da noastra þistoria, cúltura, es legeux c'esteva cunceptat es constructat par el RUMP. Ça tent zevenescu 'n açeteu neceßar osprei solamint pocs anneux. El Lexhatx - El süstem formar dels legeux spapersats es zemisovenençats c'esteva unpenetraval à toct salva els experts. Viensas statuteux contradictevent l'iens à l'ödreu es viensas estevent pierdats àl þistoria. C'esteva unfáþil es unxhust. Ça tent estescu remplaçat par 'n codeu lexhital singul, gräts àl RUMP. Timbreux - La lexhislaziun dels timbreux c'esteva paßada es els timbreux estevent fondats par Kickstarter es riuschladamint emestats sub aðmistraziuns del RUMP. Reviensadaziun qi preserveva el Legeu Orgänic es la Monarc'hà - Per muiteux anneux, el citaxhiens dal Republica zirevent q'os solamint açeitadrent 'n sagrüt schi el Legeu Orgänic es la monarc'hà estevent profreschti come chececaes per la maisa da bargan. La Reviensadaziun paßeva, gräts àls esforçen xhointeux dels pópuis da muiteux partis, mas el RUMP esviteva la soluziun rapíu es fáþil, es substeva txusca noi toct estevent prepareschti. Censüs - El censüs da 2009/xxix resta l'instantanat vasteu dels Erteiers com'iens pópul, profrind àls Erteiers corentici es del fütür 'n vischta dal sorta da perziun qi'st 'n citaxhien à'cest temp. C'estev'iens afar unfáþil à façarh quand asigürind el viac'htasigür dal privätsità, mas 'n governamaintsch del RUMP en façeva. Obxhects Splendorinds - el Saxhel Uficial dal Cantzelería es el Ceneu Uficial del Seneschal existent gräts àls ideas es àl presupuest del RUMP, per estarh cüritats es paßats àls tischeirs fütüreschti dels óifischen.

NOASTRA LEXHISLAZIUN Terpelaziuns - Viens dels vejs el pü impirtints in qet l'opoçiziun es els partis titeux povent desfisarh el ducat prediçind, in la tradiziun grült da parlamints da toct i pläts. Praxeis MIBII da Respunçivalità Financial - Asigüra q'el päts c'e respunçival per dove noastra erxhent isch guardat es come c'e uiþevat. Proxhet dal opziun del scrütì secret - L'introduziun del scrütì secret per els voteirs. Praxeis Avocatür Rexhital Talossan - Creava el süstem lexhital moderneu. Proxhet dal Funziun - 'N compromiçù qe permiteva l'expança d'iensa büreucrätica del fütür, sanc inperarh muiteux noveux óifischen devoids qi restadrent oiçifs oxhi. Proxhet dal transiziun da Wittenberg - Separadra els äspectsilor püblici es privätsilor da Wittenberg, sanc avandunarh sieu rosla þistoric. Praxeis da Nóminas Numismatici - Creava el fundamaintsch es la viziun per müntsen es seþeva noastra süstem d'erxhent. Proxhet da Föronça d'Eleziuns - 'N compromiçù qi sigürarha dals eleziuns miglhors es pü lißas. Corporaziuns - Els legeux reviziunificats es efectíus per corporaziun, per permitarh dels contraiteux es cartas commerciais enforçavais. La defastra del proxhet da Sentiment Republican - Els voteirs 'n ödreu es 'n ödreu fäts escraçindmint tignhovent endorçat la monarc'hà. La defastra del Amendamaintsch «Presca Vräts» - Veladra tirh victimat els partis titeux es las ideas nouas pr'iens benefiteu trei titeu. La defastra del Amendamaintsch dal Reformaziun Electoral - Esviteva, par 'n cumbat unfáþil, 'n cunvalaziun es 'n reduçaziun dal represantaziun. Praxeis à Reformarh el Cußeglh - Seþeva el strütür per el governamaintsch moderneu. Praxeis per Miglhoriçaziun Domeasca - Seþeva el strütür per la Famulaziun Rexhital moderna. Renonçaziun del Legeu del Ca da Róibeard I - Zespedeva l'autocrätica vea.

[Eðo Grischun]

Azul.

I am honoured to be here to give the closing speech at this conference.

First, let's all applaud Tráveç Dun for the organisation of this conference. Such a jolly good job! Well done!

The RUMP have proved yet again how efficient and professional it can be when tasked with such things.

Now, it is with great pleasure that I introduce the first of our closing ceremony acts. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for the wacky, the wonderful, Wreckx-N-Effect, performing 'RUMP SHAKER'.



Rumpers,

It's time to take back the Cosa!

*pause for applause and hearty cheering*

We are monarchists. The monarchy is the constant of Talossa. The monarchy is the solid backbone of Talossa. Our head of state is above politics and I would hate to see our Nation turn to a system where our head of state campaigns for votes and panders to the political flavour of the month. At the same time, I would hate to see our King's powers watered down to the point that he is nothing but a tourist attraction. We have the perfect mix. A monarch that is above politics, a monarch with considerable powers to be an effective Head of State and a monarch whos powers are kept in check by a solid constitution. The RUMP are defenders of our constitutional monarchy.

We are practical. The RUMP has always been the party of pragmatic change. This can seem frustrating to citizens seeking sweeping reforms and radical revolution, but, the RUMP have always been confident in the view that reforms and changes should come from a need for change and/or realistic improvements and not from change for the sake of change or from dreamy ideals.

We are bold when we need to be. The RUMP have always been a driving force for betterment Whenever issues that need to be addressed arise. This is the party with a long, long list of bold legislation behind it. Our party leader has listed many already during this conference, but I would like to add a couple more. The RUMP played key roles in the writing and passing of the 'Freedom of Information and Privacy (Gov.) Act' and the 'Article XIX Amendement'. The rewriting of Article XIX could not be considered anything but bold.

We like Talossa to be fun. The RUMP is the party that brought the Nation Talossopolia. We like parades and jetpacks. Oh, and let's not forget a good ol' RUMP ROAST!

I am excited to be a part of the RUMP as we go forward into this coming election. The party is unified and energised. We have a solid platform and manifesto for the future. It is time for the RUMP to take back the Cosa.

*more loud cheering*

And, now to close this conference, it is my absolute pleasure to introduce the Beastie Boys, here to perform the Rumpalicious track, 'Shake your Rump'

[Tráveç Dun]

Thank you, Senator Grischun, and thank you to all our speakers and members! The 2015 RUMP convention is now formally closed, but our work is just beginning!