Post by Sir C. M. Siervicül on Apr 23, 2008 16:26:51 GMT -6
From the Ministry of Culture:
We celebrate today a part of our culture that goes back to the beginning of our nation, all the way back in fact to the very day of the declaration of our independence. After having proclaimed the sovereign and independent Kingdom of Talossa on December 26, 1979, in the words of Ar Päts, King Robert I proclaimed that Støtannet (Norwegian for “Tusk”) was the Kingdom’s official newspaper, though it had not yet been printed.
Hardly more than two weeks later, in January 1980, King Robert deposed himself and formed the People’s Republic, which lasted only for about a month. This would have been of little consequence except for one thing: according to the first Talossan newspaper, Dårliget Løgner (“Dirty Lies” in Swedish), “the King was reported to have said nothing, at least in any known language.” And that marked the beginning of Talossan journalism. Dårliget Løgner, or “Dirty Lies,” was the Communist paper. Dårliget Løgner was replaced a month later (with the re-establishment of the Kingdom) by the monarchist Støtannet (Norwegian for “Tusk”), which was finally actually published. Its name was later Talossanised as Støtanneu (roughly, sto-TAH-new).
The publication of a Talossan newspaper also played a part in the development of the Talossan language, as it was a place for the language to be written and used. Again according to Ar Päts: The ever-changing national language (it was Finnish by now) hardly represented anything genuinely Talossan. And so, on 11 December 1980, King Robert put an end to multilingual chaos in Talossa by decreeing that Talossa must have her own language and not any foreign language—even English—as official. It was a bold move, and for the next several months all the nation’s newspapers would be written in “Talossan,” a jumbled mish-mash of English, Spanish, French, Swedish, German and a whole slew of oddments like Berber and Albanian. One such minor newspaper was the short-lived Tú Phäts (“Your Country”), a photocopied newspaper launched by King Robert to compete with his own Støtanneu (which was hand-written at that time).
But the reason we celebrate Newspaper Day today is because on April 23, 1985 Ian von Metairia began his own paper, originally called Talossan Nationalist News: Soon renamed Talossan National News, TNN was Talossa’s first opposition paper and became noted for its sarcasm and wit, soon rocketing past the hand-written Støtanneu in readership. TNN appeared just in time to report on the country’s first successful democratic election.
TNN’s photocopied format allowed for a wider readership and Metairia boasted that his circulation figures quickly outstripped Støtanneu’s. This statement convinced King Robert to switch Støtanneu to a photocopied format in August 1986. Støtanneu soon once again surpassed TNN in readership which provoked more bitterness from Metairia as the papers started a mud-slinging “Paper War.”
There were a couple of other attempts to create newspapers, but none other than Støtanneu and TNN endured. One in 1988 is memorable only for a quote about that year: Tom Paliaçéu, in the only issue of his abortive third RT newspaper, The Neophyte, summed up the year: “Where else could you find an election challenged on the grounds that those who did not vote should receive inactive seats in parliament, and a party that wins 75% of the vote which names a potential opponent to the post of Prime Minister?”
In November of 1990, Metairia resigned as Uppermost Cort Justice, Secretary of State and head of the Talossan National Party, but most importantly he also ceased publication of TNN on November 7, commenting on “the obvious decline and impending fall of our Talossan State as we know it.”
Shortly thereafter Davïu Ardit and Ron Rosáis (also known, collectively, as Davron) launched their own paper: Davron began a new (and abortive) Talossan newspaper on 26 November, called The Integrity. King Robert characterised its content as consisting largely of personal attacks on King Robert.
In January of 1992, TNN resumed publication. There were now three newspapers, but they consisted mainly of personal attacks upon each other. But Talossan newspapers had always functioned as political mouthpieces, and politics is often synonymous with mud-slinging; there was no reason Talossa should be any different.
Stay tuned for additional installments in our history of Talossan journalism!
(Italicised portions are from Ár Päts: A Brief History of the Kingdom of Talossa, by former King Robert I. Quotation of certain passages from that work should not be taken as endorsement of material not quoted, particularly from the last several chapters.)
We celebrate today a part of our culture that goes back to the beginning of our nation, all the way back in fact to the very day of the declaration of our independence. After having proclaimed the sovereign and independent Kingdom of Talossa on December 26, 1979, in the words of Ar Päts, King Robert I proclaimed that Støtannet (Norwegian for “Tusk”) was the Kingdom’s official newspaper, though it had not yet been printed.
Hardly more than two weeks later, in January 1980, King Robert deposed himself and formed the People’s Republic, which lasted only for about a month. This would have been of little consequence except for one thing: according to the first Talossan newspaper, Dårliget Løgner (“Dirty Lies” in Swedish), “the King was reported to have said nothing, at least in any known language.” And that marked the beginning of Talossan journalism. Dårliget Løgner, or “Dirty Lies,” was the Communist paper. Dårliget Løgner was replaced a month later (with the re-establishment of the Kingdom) by the monarchist Støtannet (Norwegian for “Tusk”), which was finally actually published. Its name was later Talossanised as Støtanneu (roughly, sto-TAH-new).
The publication of a Talossan newspaper also played a part in the development of the Talossan language, as it was a place for the language to be written and used. Again according to Ar Päts: The ever-changing national language (it was Finnish by now) hardly represented anything genuinely Talossan. And so, on 11 December 1980, King Robert put an end to multilingual chaos in Talossa by decreeing that Talossa must have her own language and not any foreign language—even English—as official. It was a bold move, and for the next several months all the nation’s newspapers would be written in “Talossan,” a jumbled mish-mash of English, Spanish, French, Swedish, German and a whole slew of oddments like Berber and Albanian. One such minor newspaper was the short-lived Tú Phäts (“Your Country”), a photocopied newspaper launched by King Robert to compete with his own Støtanneu (which was hand-written at that time).
But the reason we celebrate Newspaper Day today is because on April 23, 1985 Ian von Metairia began his own paper, originally called Talossan Nationalist News: Soon renamed Talossan National News, TNN was Talossa’s first opposition paper and became noted for its sarcasm and wit, soon rocketing past the hand-written Støtanneu in readership. TNN appeared just in time to report on the country’s first successful democratic election.
TNN’s photocopied format allowed for a wider readership and Metairia boasted that his circulation figures quickly outstripped Støtanneu’s. This statement convinced King Robert to switch Støtanneu to a photocopied format in August 1986. Støtanneu soon once again surpassed TNN in readership which provoked more bitterness from Metairia as the papers started a mud-slinging “Paper War.”
There were a couple of other attempts to create newspapers, but none other than Støtanneu and TNN endured. One in 1988 is memorable only for a quote about that year: Tom Paliaçéu, in the only issue of his abortive third RT newspaper, The Neophyte, summed up the year: “Where else could you find an election challenged on the grounds that those who did not vote should receive inactive seats in parliament, and a party that wins 75% of the vote which names a potential opponent to the post of Prime Minister?”
In November of 1990, Metairia resigned as Uppermost Cort Justice, Secretary of State and head of the Talossan National Party, but most importantly he also ceased publication of TNN on November 7, commenting on “the obvious decline and impending fall of our Talossan State as we know it.”
Shortly thereafter Davïu Ardit and Ron Rosáis (also known, collectively, as Davron) launched their own paper: Davron began a new (and abortive) Talossan newspaper on 26 November, called The Integrity. King Robert characterised its content as consisting largely of personal attacks on King Robert.
In January of 1992, TNN resumed publication. There were now three newspapers, but they consisted mainly of personal attacks upon each other. But Talossan newspapers had always functioned as political mouthpieces, and politics is often synonymous with mud-slinging; there was no reason Talossa should be any different.
Stay tuned for additional installments in our history of Talossan journalism!
(Italicised portions are from Ár Päts: A Brief History of the Kingdom of Talossa, by former King Robert I. Quotation of certain passages from that work should not be taken as endorsement of material not quoted, particularly from the last several chapters.)
