An original poem for Christmas

[King John]

Herewith a poem written in, rather than translated into Talossan. (And this really is a beautiful language we have!)

Sür acest nic'ht

Ensemblâ cîntadrent las muotâs, ès rexhôiçadrent las montagñhâs;
ensemblâ saltadrent las astrâs, ès celevradrent els nivôis!
Parç që tent el cir sür acest nic'ht nascat frumoasité,
ès sür acest nic'ht tienent els çéux piovat justiciâ.
Sür acest nic'ht tienent merþedes ès vrätsità rencontrat,
ès sür acest nic'ht tienent la Tzarâ ès el Çéu esteschti recunçilats.
Toct voi popuis, Txüfs ès Eþnicáis, rexhôiçetz!
Toct voi Cestoûrs, estetz alerêtzs; toct voi Ertéiers, estetz laetapúnts!
Parç që sür acest nic'ht isch nascat o qissen saxheçâ isch avînt els mundeux,
parç që tent el Creatéir, avetz els uglhs d’iens idilì, sieu creaziun risguardat,
sür acest nic'ht.

— John Woolley

[Hooligan]

For those who have not yet done so, I will post my translation into English of this beautiful poem. I honestly got shivers up my spine while translating it the first time. I hope I can do it justice -- correct me where I go wrong, anyone:

On This Night

Together let the hills sing, and the mountains rejoice,
Together let the stars dance, and the clouds exult!
Because the land on this night has given birth to beauty,
And on this night the skies have rained justice.
On this night mercy and truth have been united,
And on this night Heaven and Earth have been reconciled.
All you people, Jews and Gentiles, rejoice!
All you Cestoûrs, be joyful; all you Citizens, be joyful!
Because on this night is born He whose wisdom is before the worlds,
Because the Creator, with the eyes of a newborn child, beholds His creation,
On this night.

I got the shiver up the spine again. Apologies (especially to Sir John) for any missteps in the translation.

The joy of the season to all,
Hooligan

[Sir C. M. Siervicül]

Very nice! A couple of comments on the translation -

In the first couple of lines, the verbs are in the conditional or subjunctive. I presume they are meant to convey "an imperative hope or wish." So they could be translated as, for example, "let the hills sing together" or "may the hills sing together." It has a poetic and slightly archaic feel to it. It's the same use of the subjunctive as in the English "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done."

Readers may wonder why both "alerêtz" and "laetapúnt" come out as "joyful." Laetapúnt can also be translated "ecstatic," and to me connotes a more exuberant kind of joyfulness. As though citizens have just a little more to be happy about than Cestoûrs.

I would translate the third line from the end as "Because on this night is born He whose wisdom is before the world." This is important because, in Talossan as in English, "avînt" ("before") has both a spatial sense ("in front of") and a temporal sense ("earlier in time than"). I think the poem uses it in both senses at once - as the Creator is now physically present in the world he created ("before the world" spatially), and "in the beginning was the Word" ("before the world" temporally).

Update - actually, it says "before the worlds," not "before the world." I missed the plural at first.

One more note regarding "o qissen" ("he whose"). La Scúrzniâ Gramáticâ has "qi qi" for "he who," or, when it's necessary to indicate gender, "el qi" or "la qi." I wonder whether "qi qissen"/"el qissen"/"la qissen" should also exist for "he whose" (or "she whose," for that last). French would use "celui qui" for "he who."

[King John]

Oh, wow. "Qi qissen" — that's exactly right. Consider the poem revised accordingly.

Parç që sür acest nic'ht isch nascat qi qissen saxheçâ isch avînt els mundeux

Yes! Kudos to Ladintsch S:reu Siervicül!

— John Woolley

[Nic Casálmac'h]

Beautiful! And I could almost sort of understand the original Talossan just from knowledge of Spanish and Old Talossan.

Cheers!

-Nic

[Hooligan]

With thanks to my Talossan language tutor, S:reu Justiciâ Siervicül, my translation of Sir John's poem has been updated to take into account to his corrections.

Hooligan